Sunday, February 10, 2008
I don't know about you but I spend alot of time in my life questioning things, questioning things that shouldn't be questioned. I question what should be sacred and whole, I question things that should hold no doubt. I question my life, my friends, my love, and even my family. But I seem to question and tear apart my heart the most. I question his faith and his love; after 5 years there should be no questions; it's not even things he does. I can safely say I let my head control my heart. The first 2 years of our relationship we had problems, problems I don't think most couples could survive; but we did. Because of those first 2 years I tend to tear apart the last 3. How do you convince your head to leave your heart alone? It's alot like my food addiction; my stomach can tell me I don't need to eat, and that the food I am putting in my mouth is unhealthy but my head over rules and I do it anyway. How do you convince your demons to let you go? and let you live peacefully? I know in my heart he loves me, an my life would be no life at all without him. He is everything I want and everything I need; I just need to let go and I don't know how.